For all intents and purposes I\u2019m spending the remainder of this blog treating the states of being a vampire and werewolf as actually possible. \u00a0If for any reason you do actually believe these conditions to be possible, seek professional aide.<\/p>\n
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Will somebody tell me what all the fascination with banging monsters is? \u00a0And another thing, who gave anyone the right to rewrite the core facts about vampires and werewolves? \u00a0These creatures were not created to fawn over and become entranced by. \u00a0Vampires don\u2019t sparkle. \u00a0They burn and, in some cases, explode. \u00a0There\u2019s nothing terrifying about sparkling. \u00a0I can\u2019t be the only person who thinks it\u2019s absolutely retarded that this characterless female lead wants to become a vampire. \u00a0Has she considered the ramifications of a decision like that, do you think?<\/p>\n
First and foremost, unending, bitter cold. \u00a0Let it be stated and known henceforth that vampires are\u00a0among\u00a0those which are classified as undead. \u00a0Not unlike the zombies, there is no blood flow on the insides of a vampire. \u00a0Thus your life is carried on in bitter, unforgiving cold because your body lacks the resources to heat internally. \u00a0\u00a0Secondly, you\u2019re not going to gain super strength or super speed. \u00a0You\u2019re going to be able to turn into a bat. \u00a0And chances are, if you\u2019re a teenage girl you hate even the thought of a bat, let alone becoming one. \u00a0Third, if you ever met a vampire in real life, it\u2019s not going to be during a tantrum as you run away from home into the woods. \u00a0It\u2019s at night, in a dark place, maybe the woods. \u00a0You won\u2019t see him, you won\u2019t know he\u2019s following you, unless he wants you to know. \u00a0Before you even know what\u2019s happening, you\u2019ll feel a cold touch, a bite, and you\u2019ll be drained of blood and left there dead, to be found by search parties days later.\u00a0On a side note; if you hate the new town you\u2019ve moved to so much, why\u2019d you go and screw up your good thing in Florida to begin with? \u00a0Stop being a brat.<\/p>\n
The fact is this; Vampires don\u2019t want to love you. \u00a0They don\u2019t even want to know you. \u00a0To them, you\u2019re food, and that\u2019s it. \u00a0They\u2019ve tried to love before, long ago, and they died. \u00a0Sure they could \u201csave\u201d those they love and introduce them to a life of vampirism, but if you loved someone would you want that for them? \u00a0No pulse, no warmth, unending hunger, a life of hiding in the dark and night? \u00a0That\u2019s not a life for anyone to live. \u00a0That\u2019s not living.<\/em><\/p>\n Finally, onto the other bastardized beast in pop culture. \u00a0The werewolf. \u00a0Too many mediums make light of the condition of being a werewolf. \u00a0Making it seem as though the condition is one of choice and can be turned on and off at any time. \u00a0The entire idea of a werewolf is one of absolute tragedy. \u00a0It\u2019s not only innocents who are afraid of the creature, but also the man who becomes it. \u00a0Try to imagine for a minute your entire bone structure changing. \u00a0Your skull sprouting a snout, your ribs all becoming massive, your spine elongates and curves, and you begin to sprout a tail. \u00a0Your hands triple in size and your fingers not only grow, but grow claws. \u00a0The same for your feet. \u00a0Try to imagine about a fraction of the amount of absolute unspeakable pain that is and tell me you want to become that. \u00a0Try to tell me you\u2019d feel safe and comfortable enough to sleep with someone who becomes that. \u00a0They let their guard down during the heat of the moment and you\u2019ve got three new nice and bloody claw marks across your back, and a brand new condition to write home about every full moon.<\/p>\n \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/p>\n This is going to go mostly unheard, I\u2019m sure, but.<\/p>\n Kids, stop reading this drivel. \u00a0You want literature featuring monsters? \u00a0Read Bram Stroker\u2019s Dracula. \u00a0Read Mary Shelley\u2019s Frankenstein. \u00a0Read Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, The Invisible Man\u2026any of them! \u00a0Read for God\u2019s sake! \u00a0READ!!!!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n For more views, reviews, and opinions from the geek realms, check out Ryan\u2019s blog over at http:\/\/mylifeasag33k.wordpress.com<\/a>, follow him on twitter @mynameisg33k<\/a>, and don\u2019t forget to join the Spread the Nerd<\/a> effort on Facebook<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Issue #7: Paranormal Teen Fiction or How I Learned to Stop Fearing The Sun and SPARKLE! by Ryan<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-guest-blogs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.geekworldordersite.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6124","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.geekworldordersite.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.geekworldordersite.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.geekworldordersite.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.geekworldordersite.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6124"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.geekworldordersite.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6124\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6125,"href":"http:\/\/www.geekworldordersite.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6124\/revisions\/6125"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.geekworldordersite.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.geekworldordersite.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.geekworldordersite.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.fromoldbooks.org\/pictures-of-old-books\/img_7378-stack-of-books-q67-303x500.jpg\")
I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s that the youth doesn\u2019t care about classic literature, or what exactly but the fact of the matter is these paranormal teen fiction writers are destroying classic monsters. \u00a0Right now it\u2019s limited to vampires and werewolves, though I\u2019m honestly waiting for the day where Frankenstein\u2019s Monster is written as a quiet intellectual introvert. \u00a0Or a love triangle featuring a faceless, characterless teenage girl and a teen boy version of Jeckyll and Hyde!<\/p>\n